Untitled

what is my job as an artist

The word, “job” confuses me. In terms of my knowledge of job is to work something for some sort of benefits. I especially think a job as in work for someone’s profit. A work for good. I am self-conscious about my art being pleasant for some of the viewers. Many people around me such as friends, teachers, and family tell me that they “like” my art. But what does it mean to like my art? If I could make some people like my art, is that my job? Or is my job of art making to make the audience like it so that they would like me as a person. Am I advertising myself through my symbol? Would I ever be able to stop symbol making that might be a product of my vanity?

                I like my art right after I make it. About a month later, I no longer like the art I made. How about others? My audience seem like they do not stop liking it once they decide that they like it. Although I do not like the art I made in the past, the fact that the audiences like it pleases me. At one level, my job as an artist is to make sure that someone like what I make; this relieves me.

                Making art for Art and Idea, I realized that I make art to express my feeling secretly. I often do this motion by making eight and half. Basically, my eight and halfs are my diary of my most vivid feeling of every day. After making them, I feel satisfied with how I felt that day. No matter I am angry or happy, eight and half release those emotions in its purest form. After studying in CSW for three years, I improved my skill to express my feelings. I am not perfect, but I am doing my job with the correct tools (thoughts, sensibility, and space.) I am the context of my understanding and art making. My symbols are the acknowledgements of my job. 

positive art making

Positive Art Making Experience

                When I took a class, “Advanced drawing Studio”, in Mod 7 of my sophomore year at CSW, I made a series of drawing with gesso, pencils, glue and ballpoint pens. It took me a week and a half to figure out what I wanted to make because I never took a class that does not give me any specific assignments. All I had to do was to make a series of eight drawings. Todd taught the class four techniques to make drawings such as crackle, sanding, staining, and bleed. After experimenting with the new techniques I learned and trying out different materials, I decided not to use those techniques because I was afraid of making drawings that looked like those of student who also practiced the disciplines.

                While I was playing with different materials, I started thinking about a theme for my series. During the summer vacation after the freshman year, my friend in Japan and I started web log. Since then, I had been intrigued by one of my friend’s web log. His writings were more atmospheric, revealing and profound to me. He also made 8 mix CDs before I came back to CSW from summer vacation. I decided make art based on the feeling and inspiration I got from him. My theme was “Inorganic in Organic.” His words were very inorganic, but subtle, and was humane but at the same time, I felt the sense of inhumanity.

                At first, I made 5”x7” squares in the middle of paper (8”x11”) with Masking tapes and then I covered the squares with gesso. By sanding the painted area, I made smooth surfaces. As a main drawing, I chose to trace maps because they look so neat, mechanical and systematical but still they are made by people. People used to walk and create maps. I first traced maps on papers with pencils. I traced two maps layered. I also traced maps on a plastic sheet with Elmer’s Glue I peeled them off of the sheets and glue them on to the papers that had maps drawings on it. Then, I started scratching a few lines of maps with color pencils. In every piece, I drew simple map drawings that had four corners and a street. I drew outline drawings of watermelon seeds with blue and red ballpoint pens. At the end, I made little bubbles of glue. On some drawings bubbles are making straight/round lines and, on some other drawings, bubbles are gathered in one area. I made those bubbled by dropping off a bit of glue and dried them up with heat dryer. Glue soon made a membrane, and inside of the membrane, glue boiled up and made a tiny bubble that has a diameter of 0.2 inches on a drawing.

                My classmates were great artists so that I was constantly inspired by their work. Their art/their existence in the class also cultivated a feeling of competition. I wanted them to think I was a great artist as well. Being a boarder also helped me concentrate to work. Unlike day students, I had an access to art building/tools anytime of the day. I found myself being a better worker when I work alone. I barely talked with Todd. I think I had two or three big and deep conversation about what I was making but nothing more. I enjoyed working independently; I felt confident.

                At the end of mod art show, many of my friends told me that they liked my drawings. A lady who worked in the development office that year told me that she wanted to buy some of my drawings. I could not stop smiling and skipping that day. Though some parts of the process got a little tedious and slow, at the end, all was good and I was happy.

shiny shunshanshine

art is an organization

to the loo

to the loo to the loo tolottoo